Parenting Tips

Why Failure is a Part of Success

Jenny Many Editorial Team

In today’s highly competitive world, every parent wants to raise a genius. Kids are made to believe that being the best at everything they do is the only option they have. Words such as average and even good no longer exist in the dictionary of parents. Many parents want to live their dreams through their kids, but at what cost? While it is natural for parents to want their kids to succeed at everything they do, obsession with the idea can push their child to the brink, often forcing them to take drastic steps.

Obsession with Succeeding

Many parents are so obsessed with the idea of seeing their child achieve one goal after the other (which they set for them) that they do not even want to discuss ways to cope with failure. The pressure of their parents' expectations can take a toll on a child's mental and emotional health. Performance pressure stifles a child and can result in serious self-confidence issues and social anxiety disorder.

Before you overburden your child with your expectations, think about their delicate shoulders. Are they strong enough to bear the weight of your hopes? We all are afraid to fail. Every parent should guide their child to steer clear of failures, is it, however, right to demonize failure? To err is human. Getting up after falling down with a firm resolution to not repeat our past mistakes is what makes us stand apart as a species.

Don't get us wrong. We are not trying to glorify failure. Failures are setbacks and can strike your child, however, failures teach us important life lessons. Instead of convincing your child to believe that failure is not an option, teach them how to get up and keep walking after being hit hard.

Why is Failure the Best Teacher?

Failure Helps Kids Identify Their Weaknesses

Failure can have immense value and help your kids understand where they went wrong. Once they are aware of their weaknesses, your child can tweak their strategy to achieve their personal and professional goals. Embracing failure, instead of fearing it helps bring out the best in a child maximizing their motivation, perseverance, and determination.

Failure Teaches Kids to be Humble

Another reason why failure is not as bad for your child as you think is that it teaches the kid to be humble. Success can sometimes be sweet poison. Often kids who achieve one goal after the other without getting pinned down by failures become cocky and arrogant. Failure helps keep your child grounded giving them a sense of clarity and direction.

Failure Teaches Kid to Value Effort and Perseverance

Kids who haven’t tasted the bitter fruit of failure often let success get to their head. Failure will help your kid inculcate values necessary to win at the game called life.

Failure Trains Kids to Take Risks and Deal with Uncertainty

The reason why most parents consider watching their kids fail as their worst nightmare is the uncertainty that failure brings. Once kids start taking failures in their stride instead of fearing them, they start experimenting with ideas and possibilities. They overcome the fear of taking risks and are more open to the idea of getting out of their comfort zone to try something new and exciting. It is this attitude that opens the doors to new opportunities, helping the child grow. 

Failure Teaches Kids to Deal with Adversity

Instead of teaching your kids to view failure as a roadblock, teach them to see it as an opportunity to get their act together. Teach your child to stand strong in the face of adversity, proving their mettle to the world. When the storm passes by and the world sees them still standing, the child will receive nothing but adulation, which will do a world of good to their self-esteem and confidence. 

Failure Teaches Compassion

Failure is an experience. Success and failure are the two sides of the same coin called life. Every success story has a chapter dedicated to failure. Failure helps develop a deeper understanding of life, helping your kid become a better, more compassionate human. 

How Parents Should Deal with Their Kids’ Failures 

In a nutshell, failure prepares your kids to face life's challenges head-on. They become more aware of their weaknesses and are willing to work on them to achieve success. 

While no one in their sane mind would advise you to celebrate your kid's failure, it is equally inadvisable to demonize failure and admonish your kids for failing to achieve a target.

When you scold your child for falling short of a goal, you are unknowingly harming their self-belief and self-confidence, making them believe that they are good for nothing. Kids with serious self-confidence issues often create their imaginary world. Before people around them can understand the gravity of the situation, their imaginary world becomes the troubled kid’s permanent address. They slowly start ignoring people around them, which can result in long-term behavioral issues.

Parents who bring up their kids by telling them that failure is not an option unknowingly do more harm than good. Many kids who are taught to succeed at any cost, often prefer taking drastic steps such as harming themselves over facing their parents after failing to achieve a goal or a target. When the baggage of failure mercilessly crushes the self-confidence and self-worth of a kid, they are more likely to contemplate suicide and other drastic measures.

Many parents boost their kids' achievements to fuel their self-esteem. There is nothing wrong in highlighting how you guided your child to success, however, patting your back for their success, instead of giving them the due credit not only makes you look bad but can also lead your kid into believing that you are behind everything good about them. 

To ensure all-round development of your kids, create a healthy environment at home. Cultivate healthy competition in your kids. When teaching them the importance of succeeding, also let them know that failure does not mean the end of the world. Tell them that it's okay to fall after being hit hard in the face by failure; however, giving up and not getting up after falling is something that isn't acceptable. Instead of discouraging your child from taking risks, teach them to overcome their fear of failure.


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